FUNNY SMS & JOKES

Doctor funny sms




A doctor came to visit the patient in hospital, and patient started pleading and crying, Doctor please save me, please save me. The patient kept crying and crying.
The outspoken nurse got irritated, and she told the patient, You should not worry, you see you owe $4000 for hospital bed, $2000 for medicine, $5000 for anesthesia, $8000 for surgery, $3000 in doctors fee, tell me why would Doctor kill you?

Chor Ki Faryad

Night packeges ne to hmen bhoka mar dia

Jis ghr ma chori k lye jao koi Ashiq jag rha hota hy

(‘,’)>janu
/)( 5mint rko koi
/\ awaz i hy

Acting
Shahrukh khan pr Khatam
Singing Atif pr Khatam
Style katrina Pr Khatam
0r cuteness

Yaqinan MUJH pe Khatam
0r log.
JAL JAL
K Khatam;)

ASLAM O ALEKUOM                                
Hands Up!
I'M a Lover officer.
U R Undr Arrest.
Q k jitne pyare ap ho.
Itna pyara hona Qanoonan jurm hai.
Is liye apko

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.;-)
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pta nhi aisa msg log muje hi kiun send
krty hen aisi kya bt hy muj main
 " <('.') O my 
     )(>_ God 
     /|
i am so Cute na

Kbi to humari gali m aao
thora sa sharmao muskurao
Apni ankho se zulfein uthao
humare ghar ki bell bajao
Aur
awaz lagao

"Kachra laao
"kachra laao....
/(".)
  )(\://____________:_/ /
             (()-----(()  
Hahahahaha

Mere chup rehne se NARAZ na huwa kro
"DOSTO",
Suna he k Khobsorat log kum bola krte he
  
   )(
  _//_ Oh My God..!
Ammi meri ñazàr ütäréñ:-).

"YADGAAR DATE"
Ek Din Me Us k Sath Gaya Date Per,
Phir Usne Apni Birthday Pe Bulaya Gate Pr,
Ham Ne Kuch Baten ki Beth Kr,
Us k abbu Ki Hat Gai Hame Dekh kr,
Phir Usne Mujhe Chamat Diya Khench kr,

Phir do Laate Maari Mere Pet Pr,
Ek Hafte Tak Me Leta Raha Bed Pr,
Ab Kabhi Nahi Jaonga Date Pr...
      
(',')/
/] [       
 / \
oye msjid kidar                        
hai.

Shakespeare Said:
if there is a Single Dollar in your Pocket then
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Convert it into Pakistani currency &
Buy a Pepsi of Rs.65 aur 20rup k Pakore
Bhi le lena aur 4 ki goldleaf aur 2
ki Tara gold bhi...
Wah bhai wah,Dil khush kar diya Pakistani
Govt tu ne currency ki band bja kr

Husband 2 wife.
Ek writer ne likha hai k
"Shohar ko b Ghar k Mamlo me bolne ka Haq hona chahiye"
Wife-
Wo Bechara bhi dekho Likh hi paya, Bol Nahi Saka.!

C.I.D sher arz hai..
shaam ka suraj dhal chuka hai
wah wah..
Sham ka suraj dhal chuka hai..
Oh my G0D! DAYA yeh t0 mar chuka hai.

"Wo dost umar bhar ka saath kia dega Jaani
Jisne police ki gari dekh k bike se utaar dia

(,")/
<)) Abay utar
/\ tere paas
gutka hy.

Sochta hon apk dil main utar kar dekhon,_,
=DOST=
Konsa purza  kharab hai jo apko sMs  karney nahi deta..
(.")/    chotaay
 ) (     12 ka pana liya.

PagaL khanay ka
Incharge,
1 PagaL se,
"Aap theek hain is liye Apko chorra ja raha hai
Magar Afsoos

KaL Jis PagaL ko ap ne Swimming PooL mei
Doobney se Bachaya tha Aj Us ne Phanda Daal k Khudkushi karli."
PagaL:
"Us ne Khudkushi Nai ki
wo to maine Usay sookhney k liye latka diya tha.

Wo mujh say bichar kar ab tak nahi roaya      
Koi to hamdard hai uska jis
ne meri yad tak na anay di.

Mirza Ghalib kya khoob keh gae hain,
Jald bazi me Shaadi kar k saara jeevan bigaar lo gey,
Wah,Wah.

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Or Soch samaj K karoge to bhi konsa "TEER" maar lo gay?

3 womens.
Topic: Husband se kam krwana.
American: mene Husbend se kha k aynda khana tm pkawoge.
2nd day us ne kuch nhi kya.
3rd day usne rost bna lya.

German: mene husbnd se kha aynda ghr ki safai tm kroge.
2nd day wo chup rha.
3rd day pura ghar saaf tha.
Pakistani women mene un se kha k apne kapre
tm wash kroge,apne sb kam khud kroge
Aagle din mujhe kuch nazr na aaya
2nd day b kuch nzr na aya
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3rd day aankh ki sujan kuch utri tu thora nzr aya.

Attention:
Research k mutabiq phone pr intehai ziada
dair baat krne se dimagh pr bht bura asar prta hy,
Yani
Dmagh nakara ho jata ha
Example:

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Altaf Husain :

Mujhe gham es bat ka nai k meri abhi tk shadi nai hu-e,
"Dost"
Khushi tou es bat ki hey tmhari b nai hu-e,
\(',')/ aahaa
  ) ( baly baly

Nikley Hum Duniya Ki Bheer Main To Pata Chala..

K Her Wo Shakhs Udas Hai jisko gutka nahi mil rha...

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 /(',')
   )(>
Aby tere pas kuch hai to dy.

3 UnfOrgettable things in Our Life.
?
!
!
!
!

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!
!
1. Breakfast
2. Lunch
3. Dinner!!! ;-)
har baar emotional honay ki zarurat nahi hai!

Himmat hai to dunia se baghawat karlo....
warna...
jahan maa baap kahen wahin
SHAADi karlo hehehehehe

Girl : Paros wali Aunty mujhe bohat tang karti theen..
Jab b kisi ki Shadi hoti wo mere gaal kheench k kehti
"AB TUMHARI BARI HAI"
Phir mainay un ki ye aadat khatam karwa di.
Friend : Kaise ?
Girl:Jab koi Mar jata tou mai un k Gaal kheench k kehti...
"AB AAP KI BARI HAI"

"Colgate" se daant saaf krain
"pepsodent" se mazboot krain
''closeup" se fresh krain
or agar phir bhi white na hoon to bina sharmae..
"HARPIC" use krain:)

Larki ne Namaz-e-Tahajud parhi Or Shadi
k liye Dua Mangne lagi to Sharam aagai kahne lagi,,,
YA Allah Main Apne liye kuch Nhin mangtibs Mari
Ammi ko ek Khobsurt Damad de de
 

Doa Qubol hui OR
USKI Choti Bahn ki Shadi ho gi
Moral:
Duwaon me over acting nai krni Chahye

The biggest joke on Doctors
Doctor : Agar 1 ghanta pehele le aate to hum isko bacha lete...
Boy's -Abey!

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15 minute pehele to accident hua ha

;Musibaton Ka Muqabla sabar Se Karo
Aur
Nematon Ki Hifazat Shukr Se Karo
Is msg main Pehley "BIWI" ka aur Baad mein

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 "GIRLFRIEND" ka Zikar he....

Chand alfaz apki puri zindagi tabah kar dyte hn,
Jaise k,
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"Qabool Hai "
''Qabool Hai ''
''Qbbool Hai 

Pthan bv se:
Meri T-Shirt ulti kr k press krna.
Pthan nay 1 ghanty baad pocha T-Shirt press hui?
Biwi: koshish kr rahi hon pr mjhe ulti nhi aa rahi

Arz kia hai.
Parh parh kar kya karna hai
Akhir eik din to marna hai,
marne k baad b agr dubara janam hvato
shuru to nursery se hi krna hai!wah wah!

Pathan exam me betha copy pe apna panja bna rha tha
Teacher: paper me hath ki diagram ka koi question nhi
Pathan: main paper bnane waly pe lanat bhj rha hn:-)

Aik moti Aurat ne chor pakra or us k upar beth gai
Nokar se:Ja Police ko bula
Nokar:Meri Chappal nahi mil rahi
Chor Chillaya: Aby Meri pehn le par Jaldi ja.:

BEST Police is Pakistani Police
MotorCycle Wala:
Mere kaghzat to pore hain
Phir 50 rupy kyn dun?
Police:

DOUBLE SAWARI Khul gai he to tu akela q ja rha hai

Reporter: Aap k hath me hamesha Tasbeh hoti hai aap kia parte hain?
Fazl ur Rahman: Mai Ayatul Kursi Parta hon.
Reporter: itni lambi ayat ul kursi itni jaldi jaldi kaise parte hain??
Fazl ur Rahman: waqt ki kami ke waja se sirf Kursi Kursi parta hon;o)

"Zindagi mein ek baat hamesha yaad rakhna...
K TRAIN kabhi Panchar nahi hoti..!
(.")/ Wah
<)l Ustaad
/\ -Wah kitni gehri baat kar d

A RAB hamare W0 Tamam Gunaah Muaaf Farma.!
jinKi Wajah Sy hamari Shadi RUKI Huwi Hy
(Aameen)
Note :shadi shuda Afraad "RUKI" Nikaal K Parhen.

FAALTU MESSAGE
Tchr:
agr 1 aam k darakht par 10 kely lage hain,
or un mei se 7 amrud torh liye
to

kitne kharboze bache ?
studnt: sir 9 Hathi
tchr:
wah,
tumy kesy pata chala?
stdnt:
sir,
q k me aaj tifin mai mazda ka tyre laya hu
Moral:
Rozana brush karo Varna petrol mehnga ho jay ga.
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kaha bhi hy faltu msg,
phr b parhain gy Zaroor.

1 admi medical stor pe:Zehar de 2
Shopkepr:Doctor k nuskhe k bgher ni milega
Aadmi ne Nikah nama dkhaya
Shopkepr:Bs pgle rulaega kia

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Bari bottle dun ya.....

 

Cham cham  karti Chandni,
Tim Tim karte Taaray,
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K0i b SmS nhi karta,
"Faqeer"Ho gaye kya sare?

Husband TV k Saamne betha Ro Raha tha..
Wife: Tum konsa Serial daikh rahe ho jo itna ro rahe ho?
Husband: Ye Serial nahi

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hamari shadi ki  CD hy..!

Ik 90 Saal k zaeef insan hospital me hy
un k liye dua ki khasoosi darkhast hay!
Un ki tmaam umer neki k kam kerte hi guzar gaye hy.
Un k ghar waly mere boht achy janney waly hen or wo tmaam log boht ziyada pareyshan hen

Wo boorha insan kisi ka dada, taaya, abba, naana lgta hy.
Unki beemari abi tk Doctors se diagnose nahi ho paayi hay!
Kia apnay kia Gharon ka chuhla un ki waja se jal raha hy,
Wo ik maheney se behosh hen or beech me kuch seconds k liye hosh aata hy
Or
chilla k kehte hen
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"MAZA AWAMI
KHAA BADAMI !!
Msg ghor sey perhnay ka shukria.
Ghor say to aisay perh rahay thay k ab....

OUT STANDING STUDENT,
Teacher: Whats the half of 8?
Student: Depend karta hai,
Agar horizontaly half karo tou 'O'
Aur vertically karo tou '3'...